Post by C The Clairvoyant on Aug 11, 2024 11:20:58 GMT -6
After a long time pondering all off season using inter-dimensional knowledge that no man can utilize other than myself. I have curated the 2024-25 seasons standings to the best of my clairvoyance capabilities allow. Many of my desciples have requested my visions to be posted. Fellow readers you must know this before I continue: I am ALWAYS correct. Though exact win loss records can be foggy, as my methods do not take into account OT losses or wins, or teams forced to forfeit a win because of scandalous behaviour.
1st: Lumsden Monarchs (15-3: 30 Points)
As the reigning champions, the Beach Boys will continue dominance throughout the regular season. They will repeat an easy trip to the league finals. Likely to make a good run in provincials once again, however I foreseen a crumbling semi final defeat. Many rumours have been sprouted regarding this team during the offseason, it’s just too bad that I know the truth regarding every rumour and can’t spill the beans on every single thing heard through the grapevine.
2nd: Balcarres Broncs: (13-5: 26 Points)
This team is sure to have another good year. After spending time with many different horses in the Balcarres area and preforming inhumane fortune telling practices on them, all signs points towards a good, but slightly regressed team in Balcarres. They will likely be the team that will rival Lumsden once again.
3rd: Grenfell Spitfires: (12-6: 24 points)
After an average regular season last year, the Spitfires will come out with a little more pep in their step. I had conducted tarot card readings on a plane above the town of Grenfell, though I think some people may have considered it a hijacking. This team will improve slightly.
4th: Raymore Rockets: (11-7: 22 points)
The crowd and social media surrounding this team is hilarious. Not sure who is charge (I actually do, because I know everything), but i tip of my hat to that individual. Nonetheless, they will improve on their previous season. However, a late / post season collapse will ensue as most premature rocket launches end in failure. The “launch pad” will be buzzin!
5th/6th: Milestone Flyers: (9-9: 18 Points)
This team will not quite be the same demons this year. After my professionally executed cold plunge / ouija board session in their rink this off-season allowed the spirits to tell no lie. This team is good, not great.
5th/6th: Bethune Bulldogs: (9-9 18 Points)
This organization is weird. They have quiet offseasons, no notable news to come from there in a while. However, they seem to be on the come up. The team seemingly gets better every year, and had a lot sneakily close games against the better teams from last season. After doing a full week smudge session in the rink this past month, I forsee a great improvement on this team.
7th: Balgonie Bison: (6-13: 12 Points)
Like Raymore, the aura of the crowds definitely help this team. Balgonie has improved this offseason. After throwing a coin in a well, I had seen visions in the bottom of the well water of their players hitting the gym, and working on their dump and chase. They are certainly more ready for the upcoming season compared to last.
8th: Southey Marlins (3-15: 6 points)
Fishing for Marlins is a scary, and hard task to do, especially in Saskatchewan. After going deep sea fishing for marlin, I summoned the essence of a Southey Marlin to be represented in the next fish I catch. The unfortunate news, is that I caught a goldfish. This team is going to be one of the bottom teams again unfortunately.
NOTE: The records I have provided are mathematically improbable to occur next year: some wins/losses will occur in overtime.
Feel free to voice your opinion, months of hard work were needed for these meaningless, yet correct predictions. Also please give me locations or ideas on how to further utilize my skill of clairvoyance. More improved methods can be used to make my predictions more accurate.
- C the Clairvoyant.
1st: Lumsden Monarchs (15-3: 30 Points)
As the reigning champions, the Beach Boys will continue dominance throughout the regular season. They will repeat an easy trip to the league finals. Likely to make a good run in provincials once again, however I foreseen a crumbling semi final defeat. Many rumours have been sprouted regarding this team during the offseason, it’s just too bad that I know the truth regarding every rumour and can’t spill the beans on every single thing heard through the grapevine.
2nd: Balcarres Broncs: (13-5: 26 Points)
This team is sure to have another good year. After spending time with many different horses in the Balcarres area and preforming inhumane fortune telling practices on them, all signs points towards a good, but slightly regressed team in Balcarres. They will likely be the team that will rival Lumsden once again.
3rd: Grenfell Spitfires: (12-6: 24 points)
After an average regular season last year, the Spitfires will come out with a little more pep in their step. I had conducted tarot card readings on a plane above the town of Grenfell, though I think some people may have considered it a hijacking. This team will improve slightly.
4th: Raymore Rockets: (11-7: 22 points)
The crowd and social media surrounding this team is hilarious. Not sure who is charge (I actually do, because I know everything), but i tip of my hat to that individual. Nonetheless, they will improve on their previous season. However, a late / post season collapse will ensue as most premature rocket launches end in failure. The “launch pad” will be buzzin!
5th/6th: Milestone Flyers: (9-9: 18 Points)
This team will not quite be the same demons this year. After my professionally executed cold plunge / ouija board session in their rink this off-season allowed the spirits to tell no lie. This team is good, not great.
5th/6th: Bethune Bulldogs: (9-9 18 Points)
This organization is weird. They have quiet offseasons, no notable news to come from there in a while. However, they seem to be on the come up. The team seemingly gets better every year, and had a lot sneakily close games against the better teams from last season. After doing a full week smudge session in the rink this past month, I forsee a great improvement on this team.
7th: Balgonie Bison: (6-13: 12 Points)
Like Raymore, the aura of the crowds definitely help this team. Balgonie has improved this offseason. After throwing a coin in a well, I had seen visions in the bottom of the well water of their players hitting the gym, and working on their dump and chase. They are certainly more ready for the upcoming season compared to last.
8th: Southey Marlins (3-15: 6 points)
Fishing for Marlins is a scary, and hard task to do, especially in Saskatchewan. After going deep sea fishing for marlin, I summoned the essence of a Southey Marlin to be represented in the next fish I catch. The unfortunate news, is that I caught a goldfish. This team is going to be one of the bottom teams again unfortunately.
NOTE: The records I have provided are mathematically improbable to occur next year: some wins/losses will occur in overtime.
Feel free to voice your opinion, months of hard work were needed for these meaningless, yet correct predictions. Also please give me locations or ideas on how to further utilize my skill of clairvoyance. More improved methods can be used to make my predictions more accurate.
- C the Clairvoyant.
